Mary's Virginity and the Word “Until”
The Gospel makes it clear that Joseph "had no relations with [Mary] until she bore a son, and he named him Jesus".
I have been asked many times about that word "until". Does it tell us, as it appears to, that Mary was not a perpetual virgin, but that she was a virgin only until after Jesus was born?
The short answer is "No, it does not tell us that." Let's look more closely.
Here is one example of our use of the word "until" in the same way it may be used by Matthew: if I were to say to you, “May God be with you until we meet again”, I would hope that you would not think that I meant that I hope that He’d be with you only until we meet again, and after that I hope that God will no longer be with you. Of course not; I would not be implying a change after we meet again.
The Bible also uses “until” this way, not exclusively, but sometimes. Here are just a few examples:
2 Samuel 6:23, “And Michel the daughter of Saul had no child until the day of her death.”
I doubt that the author intended us to think that Michel did have children after the day of her death.
Romans 8:22, "We know that all creation is groaning in labor pains even until now." Paul was not saying that "now" creation's groaning would stop. Rather, it would continue. It will be changed only when Christ returns.
Philippians 1:3-5, "I give thanks to my God at every remembrance of you ... because of your partnership for the gospel from the first day until now." Paul is not giving thanks because their partnership has been good but will change now. Paul is not implying that he expects any change in their partnership.
1 Timothy 4:13, “Until I come, attend to the public reading of scripture, to preaching, to teaching.” I doubt that Paul wanted Timothy to assume that after Paul arrives, Timothy should no longer read scripture publicly or preach or teach.
1 Timothy 6:14, “I charge you to keep the commandment … until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Paul is not suggesting that Timothy may disobey the commandment once Jesus appears again.
The Greek word in Matthew 1:25 that we translate “until” is ἔως.* An argument against what I’ve said above, an argument that I’ve been challenged with, is that, unlike some of the other passages I just quoted, Matthew 1:25 does not read simply ἔως, but instead ἔὡϛ οὖ.* I’ve heard it said that ἔως οὖ indicates that the action does not continue and that Mary’s virginity ended after Jesus was born. But ἔως οὖ and ἔως are used interchangeably in Scripture. For example, Acts 25:21 reads, “But when Paul had appealed to be kept in custody for the decision of the emperor, I commanded him to be held until (ἔως οὖ) I could send him to Caesar.” Paul was to be kept in custody both when he was being sent to Caesar (Acts 27:1) and after he arrived in Rome (Acts 28:16). Thus ἔως οὖ does not imply that keeping Paul in custody was to stop when he was sent to Caesar.
Now, I should be clear that I don’t think that Mary’s perpetual virginity (which I believe is the truth) can be either proven or disproven from Scripture alone. I could quote passages in the Bible in which “until” does imply discontinuity of action. Those passages are Scripture too.
But I think I’ve made it clear above that Matthew 1:25 cannot be used to prove that Mary’s perpetual virginity is unbiblical. Matthew 1:25, by itself, leaves the question unanswered.
In addition to learning here a bit about the word "until", I hope that you will do a serious study of the various uses of the word "brother" (as in "the brothers of Jesus") in Aramaic and Hebrew in general, and in the Old and New Testaments in particular. In the Bible the word can mean what we usually intend by "brother", but sometimes it means "nephew" or other close relative (as in Genesis 13:8; 14:16; 29:15; etc.). Also Jesus's "brothers" James and Joseph are sons of a woman whom Matthew clearly refers to as "the other Mary" (Matthew 13:55; 28:1)
There are ancient Christian writings that mention Mary and that make it clear that the Christians of early times were convinced of Mary's perpetual virginity. These were people who lived far closer in time to Jesus and Mary than we do, and who sought with all their hearts to pass on the pure, unchanged faith to the following generations. That is what the Church has recognized as Tradition (upper-case T), which I believe is a huge help in our knowledge about Mary. For example, the great St. Augustine wrote that Mary was "always a virgin" (Serm. 186).
Finally, Mary's perpetual virginity seems to me to be in accord with human nature. If you were literally the spouse of no one less than God Himself, and you had given birth to his Son, then would you want relations with any other husband? It certainly would be a terrible settling for far less.
I have had the sad experience of hearing both Protestant and Catholic Christians flinging their understandings of their churches’ arguments at each other, without the humility to recognize that many of those other Christians, who have been taught differing interpretations, are sincerely hungry to know the truth too.
I’m certainly not saying that the truth is not the truth. There is one and only one truth, and it matters vitally. But I am saying that one should always speak with fellow Christians (and with all people) in genuine humility, and with persuasive reasons why we believe that we are correct. We must listen with respect to others about deeply-held matters of faith. Otherwise they will not listen to us and we will never be able to show them the truth.
It is very important to take the Apostle Peter’s advice: "Always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence” (1Peter 3:15).
And the Apostle Paul says, “Let your speech always be gracious” (Colossians 4:6).
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* Pronounced heos, with the e sounding like that in "get", and the o like that in "not".
** Pronounced heos hou, with the ou sounding like that in "route").
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